I always listened from my elders that its youth time when a man is careless, energetic, passionate –so a happy man. But I’m still in search for this happiness. How a man can stays happy, when he is jobless, without a relationship and feels alone in this busy world? When your dreams are shattered by the external factors, when family pressure forces you to show results of progress, but the progress is stagnant because it doesn’t depends only on you but also on the world you’re living in, in response to your parents, you just remain silent by thinking that they are also saying right, they have invested lot of money and time, so we could fulfills our dreams and becomes their helping hands; also they are in a stage of life where we should not tell them our problems. Life becomes miserable when you have no one to tell your problems. The clouds of sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness hijack your world and, as a result, you become silent and act normal like a mountain whose Lave is still not out and is burning inside of it.
Where this silence would lead me to, I don’t know! How I can remain without being disillusioned, I don’t know! How my religious belief would protect me, I don’t know! I have listened that religion protect you from astray, But here I think I failed him or it failed me, I don’t know! There are Hundreds of question in mind but without answers and also no answers satisfied me. I think Life isn’t something that can be understood or can be answered. It’s what it’s. I have to live this moment with all these anxiety, fears, loneliness and sadness. I have to accept this moment as I wish to live it a happy moment in future or in another moment. Life seems to me in itself a God. Nobody writes it from somewhere. Everybody has to live his own God. No belief could help me to overcome this absurdness and meaninglessness except this life itself. I have to accept it all and remain moving forward…
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